I listened intently as the speaker spoke about the dangers of sex outside of commitment. He named the usual suspects, pregnancy, std, sin. SIGH
I was disappointed. They all leave out the least obvious. No one seems to remember that sex is the most intimate thing two people can do together. It is literally opening one’s self to a plethora of emotions that may or may not lend itself to the promised release.
Yes, it may feel good or most likely it’ll feel weird. And afterwards there’s a nagging “What did I just do?” “Is this what all of the hype was about?
I can say that for me, it was a bit of feeling used. Oh sure as a grown woman of the 70s/80s sex was always on the table. I was raised in church so I knew the usual suspects BUT no one ever told me about the emptiness. I always noticed that nothing seemed to change for the guy or maybe it was just me. There were no warm fuzzies or feeling special.
There was always something missing. I know now that it was as simple as trust.
Please remember to be open and honest when speaking to young people about sex. Sex isn’t what it’s portrayed to be in movies. In truth it’s far from it. Sex doesn’t just happen. Rape isn’t about sex. Most importantly tell them about the emptiness that follows. Rape isn’t about sex. The wondering who he’s told AND HE WILL TELL. Anyone coerced into have sex … pushed, bullied, shamed into having sex equates to rape. Rape isn’t about sex.
I remember sitting in a parking lot waiting for my teen to get off work and hearing some young guys talking about a sexual encounter they’d each had with the same girl. They spoke in details and there was laughter. Three boys, one girl, many separate occasions. I said a prayer for her, for them, but mostly for her. I imagined the emptiness in them all. Neither of them cared enough to protect her, including her. For me it was all too close to home, too many bad memories. Too much emptiness. I told my teen about what I’d overheard. She said that they were all regarded as “hoes” but that the girl was now away at college.
Sex isn’t love no matter what you’ve been told. Sex is at its best inside of commitment under the cover of trust. Sex should never be used to secure, procure or acquire a relationship.
Give them truth. Tell them Sex is at its best inside of commitment under the cover of trust.