One ship left

I used to watch my kids play video games. Their games are far more complicated than any of the games I grew up playing, and they don’t have to leave home play. They experience the highs and lows of game play in the comfort of their own space. I suppose that that’s why the anxiety of having spend more money when you lose doesn’t enter their game play. They can just take a bathroom break and start over.

My generation understood that your success in the game was directly tied to skill and of course how many quarters you had in your pocket. I feel like that now, in life. I noticed yesterday that I’m feeling like I’m losing the game and I only have one more chance. I get what’s happening in the spiritual.

Enemy has thrown the usual things at me, however this man is faithful, I recognize that God is our supply, my body image no longer distresses me because I married a man who sees me and loves every bit of what he calls his buffet. I’ve learned to accept that my children are grown, making their own decisions whether I like or understand them or not… they’re grown.

So, I sit here writing to you to say simply that worrying gains nothing positive, which is why scripture tells us to not worry or be anxious about anything. The peace I feel is odd… scripture says this is the kind that (passeth all understanding). I like to imagine that this is what my Nanaboy feels as he goes about his day. No worries because Nana is there to fulfill his needs and wants. All he has to do ask and he can do it in two languages, well three if you understand what the shake of his sippy cup means.

I’m choosing to be an adult about all things right now. I must play as if I have limitless quarters, and I’m playing in the comfort of my own home.

No, no, no, I want a do over

Man, I saw a post asking what I’d tell my 15 year old self, if given the chance.

Many things cross my mind, but the main thing would be that I am loved. And just before the moment was over, I’d tell myself who not to trust.

It would be excellent if we could have do overs. The problem is that they’d have to be limited and none transferable. However, in this life, I’ve found that humans have vile ways of doing things, more often than I’d ever want to believe. So the idea that someone would be held hostage for use of their do overs, doesn’t surprise me, neither does someone selling one for profit, or using them as bargaining chip.

We don’t get do overs, but second chances exist. We just have to be able to recognize them and make excellent use of the opportunity, which requires a certain level of discipline and consistency.

Certain things can cause me to weep, especially a glimpse of hope deferred. The Bible says that hope deferred make the heart weak. I can attest to that truth. Then the next thing is to be truly honest about the level of discipline, consistency, and diligence I’ve attained in said Hope. I must also address an old foe, the little girl inside of me that still believes she doesn’t matter in this world. I know it’s a lie and yet it hinders my forward progress and nurtures the stagnation. YIKES! Anything stagnant stinks.

This is my first post in 2023. It is the 20th day of the year. I’ve told myself to work on consistency. And to count the victories, no matter how small and this post is a victory.

BE Blessed!

Pet Owner Fatigue

My dog is almost 12 years old. We’ve had her since she was six weeks old.

She barks at odd hours of the night. She wants out. She wants in. She wants to be in different areas of the house… her fav place used to be in the garage, but now she’s just not happy anywhere.

Right now she’s barking, but she doesn’t want to go outside, or even out of the garage. Hubby has checked around the house, nothing we can see or hear out of the norm.

I want sleep. I’m having not so nice thoughts… I’m about to cry from sleeplessness. Sigh.

We’ve tried many things… and I refuse to replace the weighted jacket thingy she ate. Sigh

I just want her to sleep.

Just a Shameless Plug…

Hey peep!

I have to let you, my 1200 followers, lnow that I haven’t posted lately because I’m trying to get my podcast up and running.

It is a LOT more involved than I’d imagined. . I have to purchase a microphone and some other things AND I have to write content. I’ve always believed that Podcaster meant just firing every thing up and saying what ever is in your mind… which is mostly true, however if you don’t want to sound cray cray… you have to write it out first.

It’s on Anchor. I should post the link, but I’m in the car writing this and well, I will post it in the next post.

Thank you so much for making this blog a successful one! I’m looking forward to an equally successful podcast!

Smooches! BE Blessed!

Ten year old Suspended from school over alleged drug possession

Yep, you’ve read that correctly.

A ten year old boy saw something on the floor in school, picked it up and showed it to a friend. The friend told the teacher, boy who found object in question was suspended for drug possession!?!?

Now, I got this story from the boy’s mom and then from the boy.

The boy is my grandson. He is African American, or Black. He is as all kids his age, curious. He isn’t afraid of much, if anything. He is fastidious, especially about how he presents himself to the world. He has adopted his grandfather’s morning routine, almost exactly. His mom won’t allow him to wear cologne.

He is also brutally honest. He learned at a young age that honesty is the best policy after we told him that it’s the road to less retribution. He accepts corrections, sure sometimes not graciously, but he accepts it.

AND, yes he gets in trouble – he’s 10.

I watched my hubby speak to him after I brought him home from school the day he got suspended.

First, let me say, we know he’s not perfect. In all honesty, he has done some kid stuff that this zero tolerance school culture frowns upon… he took an old vape out of the trash and took it to school… I must admit, it was cool looking. (Hence the lawsuit for marketing to teens) (I may include a pic of it)

Next he was rough housing on the bus and well… yeah. He did that. We accepted the fact that he’d earned that one day suspension from the bus.

However, this drug thing, is another thing all together. The Principal has admitted to being overly sensitive about what appears to be drug related issues because of losing her brother to drug addiction. And while I’m trying to tell myself that my grandson wasn’t racially profiled… I’ll admit it comes across that way. I had to leave the room when I heard my hubby began to tearfully have THE TALK with our ten year old grandson.

He didn’t even know what was in the baggy, which was why he picked it up.

Sigh, I believe that this could have been better handled by the school. They have wrongfully assumed that he brought the item from home, which puts the ball squarely in my court. Game on!

I’ll keep you posted.

“Don’t Look Up”

Have you watched the movie, “Don’t Look Up”?

A few of my friends didn’t like it. I’ll admit that it was very slow in some parts, in truth I did fast forward through the middle of it, but I asked myself this question: “What if Noah’s story took place today?


Or any story from the Bible…. Goliath would be a huge celebrity, he and his brothers. The giant slayer would be on every talk show… day and night.

Ask yourself what would you do? Me? I’d do the research and construct an underground bunker…. prayers up


I am being re-calibrated. It is needed. I feel that I have gotten too far off track.

I suppose you’d find it hard to believe that I once had a ministry. Sigh

I am being re-calibrated, willingly. It does feel odd but good, it kinda hurts as if I’ve been scratching an itch too long.

It will require that I drop some things. Another sigh

Father, I stretch my hands to you, no other help I know.