For as long as I can remember I didn’t feel loved. I don’t know how or why that developed in my head, just that it lasted until I met my present husband.
I felt loved by Jesus, who was introduced to me as my friend.
However, nothing ever truly felt like love to me. Sadly, I learned recently that my precious daughter also feels this ugliness. I don’t have many opportunities to help her because she tends to shut me out. I don’t like it. I don’t understand it and yet I know where she’s at in that emotion.
But this isn’t about her, its about me. I am these many years old and I finally FEEL loved, honored, and cherished. I wish someone would have just asked the question, “Paula, do you feel loved?”
The answer may surprise you. Teens may tend to be far more sullen and may not answer right away. My nanagirl says I love you, every chance she gets. I recognize that seeking for validation. She’s 5, I have a chance to fix that in her head… and yes, it is in the head. I used to have instances that defined love to me and I want to help her to value herself in her search for love. My search hurt for many years. I gave my heart to those who said or acted as if they desired me and I foolishly thought that giving them my version of the best sex, being the best wife ( married or not), etc would keep them with me.
(Insert deep sigh here) I had to learn to stand up for myself… or should I say that I’m still learning to stand up for me while voicing my truths. Now, I must say, that my truth isn’t always true and I thank God for sending me the man who has on many occasions corrected me, ever so lovingly.
Ask the question.
Discuss the answers.
It’s truly worth it.