I watch my granddaughter learning to navigate the world around her.
I’m told she looks a lot like me, fair skinned, thick hips and thighs. She has a quick smile and deep, deep dimples. She is an open slate, or more plainly ~ an open target.
I made up my mind when I first saw her that she would NOT grow up with body issues as I did. In truth, I have decided to address my insecurities this year and I’m taking you along with me. I’ve decided to not post pictures yet, because I want you, the reader, to take this journey with me, so we can both learn to embrace and love WHO YOU ARE.
The first thing I must do is lose the labels bestowed on my as I grew up. I have nicknames that lovingly denote the lack of wisdom of the people around me. The worse, “heavy hips” caused the most trauma. Oddly, “shit-colored-gal” was easy to get rid of because I simply did not embrace it. However the others, like “little white girl” seemed to follow me even now.
I can honestly say that I’ve been on a diet since my Aunt place me on one when I was in Elementary school. I won’t discuss the cruelty of public school just yet, just know that there wasn’t any solace in that arena.
I’ve tried many, many diets and lost lots of weight, only to regain it because I am an emotional eater. It doesn’t make me feel better, I just eat because I can. It has evolved over the years. My emotional go tos are now Brussels sprouts, raw snap peas, and a cucumber, avocado, tuna and tomato dish that is truly scrumptious.
I do have emotional areas I want to address this year; old junk that is weighing down progress even in my writing; The first being the lies I’ve embraced over the years and also the ones I spread.
So, my new year’s resolution is to become emotionally healthy. I hope you’ll join me.