From the Desk of an Author

At this point I can write what every I want because I am virtually unknown by the masses. Some of my friends don’t even know that I am a self-published author. I say self published, because I wanted to see my words in print and it was the quickest most direct path to total resistance (PLACE BORG REFERENCE HERE) Yes, I am a Trekkie.

I have many ideas that just don’t fit what my Christian label, like I don’t think that prayer in school should be the law of the land. I happen to believe that abortion is a necessary evil and that each one choosing to do it has to answer to their own God for the action. I am also pro-choice. I think the choice is made BEFORE you have sex, everything after that is then consequences… deal with whatever you get up with in a responsible manner and no abortion isn’t responsible … just sayin’ … yep I sound twisted… what of it? Oh? I didn’t fully explain my position… and I’m not going to do that here either.

I also believe that Mr. Obama has done a good job at being MY president. I must admit that my whole opinion of him is how I see him as Man, husband, dad. I also believe that his presidency was a redeeming moment in history, though, he was still seen as just another black man in public housing. America! America! (you know the song)
I’ve never been ultra black, I’ve struggled with the lack of darkness to my skin, but I believe that I have found a happy medium in my latter years that just wasn’t attainable in my younger ones.

So here I am rambling about whatever is on my mind simply because I can; simply because I honestly believe that here on these pages, in this space, no one hears this tree falling in the forest. Oh, I admit, that I want someone to stumble across these words and ponder them, but I’m not even going to share this post on facebook or in any other place.
This is my game. I get to set the rules and choose the winner(s). I reserve the right to keep the rules to myself and to judge who’s following them or not. Isn’t that how it’s played? 
I stand in my little cage and dance and sing for you and you get to tell me whether or not I did well or even get another chance to do it. I’m not even placing tags on this one. That how committed I am to this game, the title of which is also withheld.

I believe marriage to be the greatest thing God ever gave us! Second to nothing, including sex. I should know because I’ve been married far too many times, but only got it right once. I can and will write a book about it. It will be a manual based on what I’ve learned from the marriages around me and those I have had the privilege of speaking into.
Wife isn’t just a title or the result of a ceremony ~ it is an anointing, a calling if you will…. WAIT…. this post isn’t about the ministry I’m called to, it’s about the anonymity of who I am now, today.
Oh, I have some importance to my family and the few friends I have, but on the whole, I am as anonymous as any one can be in a room chock full of strangers! In a way this “feels” good! I don’t have to watch what I’m saying (writing) or even filter my thoughts.
This is good! An odd sort of privacy that’s lacking in the world today. I’m trying to, after all this time, forgive the ex for his lies. I say the words everyday. For some reason their profile pic will pop up in the “people you may know” section of facebook and I am angry that I even know that man ~ I got a beautful daughter out of the fray, though, and a warlike knowledge of relationship/marriage that took far too many years to gain. O my lawd! pass the drinking gourd! He’s someone else’s problem now, I wish them all the best! (hic)
It’s good to write and not have a point or message. It feels good to just get it all out! AAAHHHHH…. 

It feels good to be me. I like me! I enjoy who I am in He who first loved me and I enjoy being my husband’s wife. I work diligently at it, daily, hourly sometimes. God has truly blessed me!

Okay, so the rambling is now over. If by chance someone stumbles onto this post/rant, I hope they leave a comment with the understand that they don’t know the rules to this game so negative comments, however pious will gain or not gain points… get it? Good comments will almost always be considered before being discarded, or not. This is just where I am at this moment.

Now, It’s time to make the donuts, banana bread and a strong, stiff drink!

Isn’t it wonderful to find that you’ve paid for something you’ve only used once and you’ve paid for the entire year!?
I’ve got to say, this will go onto a sticky note and and onto the portion of the desk I see most often.

New Mercies!

I woke up this morning with a renewed sense or purpose. My husband’s prayer before we fell asleep caused my heart and my mind to want to rise to my fullest potential.
It is sad commentary to say that at this “stage” of my life. In the seventies I’d have been considered a senior citizen. But here in this post Bo Derek world, I haven’t any of the perks of being a senior citizen with the exception of AARP. This is a rabbit trail I will not venture down today.

The focus of this post is to somehow spur you into doing that thing you’ve always dreamed of doing. Write that novel/poetry/play. Take that famous picture and hold your very own art show. Learn a new language. Get outside of your box!

I’ve written many books and it was fun to do. It was when I began to measure my success by what I saw around me that I measured myself a failure. Never mind that a Google search can find me AND my books so wonderfully displayed on Lulu.com. I’d judged myself a failure. Today, I have stopped judging me. My life isn’t perfect, but is it golden! My love life is excellent! So why do I waste time thinking that I have failed at that which I WANT and LOVE to do? sigh
It all ends now. I Paula Denise! I am I tell you! I Author! and as eloquently as I can write it, I HAPPY!