From the Desk of an Author

For as long as I can remember I didn’t feel loved. I don’t know how or why that developed in my head, just that it lasted until I met my present husband.

I felt loved by Jesus, who was introduced to me as my friend.

However, nothing ever truly felt like love to me. Sadly, I learned recently that my precious daughter also feels this ugliness. I don’t have many opportunities to help her because she tends to shut me out. I don’t like it. I don’t understand it and yet I know where she’s at in that emotion.

But this isn’t about her, its about me. I am these many years old and I finally FEEL loved, honored, and cherished. I wish someone would have just asked the question, “Paula, do you feel loved?”

The answer may surprise you. Teens may tend to be far more sullen and may not answer right away. My nanagirl says I love you, every chance she gets. I recognize that seeking for validation. She’s 5, I have a chance to fix that in her head… and yes, it is in the head. I used to have instances that defined love to me and I want to help her to value herself in her search for love. My search hurt for many years. I gave my heart to those who said or acted as if they desired me and I foolishly thought that giving them my version of the best sex, being the best wife ( married or not), etc would keep them with me.

(Insert deep sigh here) I had to learn to stand up for myself… or should I say that I’m still learning to stand up for me while voicing my truths. Now, I must say, that my truth isn’t always true and I thank God for sending me the man who has on many occasions corrected me, ever so lovingly.

Ask the question.

Discuss the answers.

It’s truly worth it.

I’m currently watching Ginny and Georgia. It’s a Netflix show my Nanagirl wanted to watch with me, well she didn’t say she wanted to watch with me … it is my Tele in my bedroom.

I’m blessed to have this insight into her teen mind.

However, it causes me to remember my own teen journey, the uncertainty, the lack of wisdom though I believed myself to be quite wise at her age, 16.

Let’s never forget that in-between adolescence and adulthood is a lot of confusion, angst, and the need to be heard.

Today, I am feeling angst. My daughter, her bestie and their children are flying out tomorrow and it bothers me in a way that puzzles me. I think it’s the whole pandemic thing, but it feels like something else… a premonition of impending doom. However, I am aware that my sensor is off kilter because of something that happened in the past. It was beyond horrible and completely life shattering. Enough said.

I’m going about my day… chiding myself for worrying. (Insert deep soul cleansing sigh here)

I know that all too soon, the vacation will be over and I’ll wonder when the next one will come about.

I believe I’m living in fear which is no bueno. Yo necisito calm down. Wooooo saaaahhhhh.

That’s it… That’s all I have right now.

PEACE!

In 1965 I was a first grader. I’d been reading since I was four years old. I’m a voracious reader.

I enjoyed Dr. Seuss. His early works were odd to me, maybe because I was so young. I introduced his writing to my children and grandchildren.

Honestly, it never occurred to me that anything was wrong with the pictures. I truly hope that the family will consider changing the graphics/illustrations and allowing future generations to enjoy these 6 books.

On another note: I’d like to own the original works.

If you find a copy… drop me a note and I’ll set up a way to pay (if I must) a reasonable price.

Change is never easy.

Have you ever done something just for the sake of getting noticed?

Yes, it was a good thing to do, however what was your main motivation?

Do something good today and make mention of it to no one.

Which is better? I’ve learned that it depends. On What?

I haven’t figured that out yet.

Giggles. I do understand that consistency is the key.

Carry on … nothing to see here.

What is hope if the unavoidable is THE only outcome?

Why do we “hue-mans” seek constant miracles?

Is it foolish to believe that if I read Romeo and Juliette one more time… neither of them die and that their children bring peace to the family?

There are some basic unavoidable inevitablities, water is wet, so walking in the rain will cause you to be WET. However, illness from said wetness is not inevitable.

(Insert deep sigh here)

It is inevitable that death is an unavoidable transition we all must make one day or night.

Life isn’t always pleasant and yet there are those who chose to live it truly not even making note of the inevitable. These are the ones who make life pleasant for the rest of us. They are the inventors, discoverers, and yes authors of whichever moment in time they happen to find themselves planted in.

So today, ask yourself, “Am I just going to accept the inevitable or am I going to seek out the possibilities?

Never forget that the umbrella, raincoat and galoshes are someone’s attempt at making water not so wet.