Sexual Wam Pum

Well, today was our last “session”. Periodically I speak with young women who have questions about marriage.
She’s getting married in a few days and well, she still didn’t understand why I wasn’t as excited about it as she wants me to be about it.

Experience has taught me the signs of pending heartache. Am I saying that I’m an expert? Nope, just a veteran of heartache. So much so, that I can and am writing the book.

I’ve learned that most of them I speak to have confused the sexual function for intimacy and sadly, love. Most are sexually active, so they think there’s no going back from that because “heaven forbid! He will leave me because WE CAN’T HAVE SEX.

Deep sigh

I’ve been there. If he’s going to leave, he’s going to leave. End of quote. Sex won’t hold him, nor will your looks; though each may seem important, they are not a firm foundation for marriage.

Sexual mechanics are a function of the living, breathing being. It is common to those with six legs, 4 legs, 2 legs, no legs.

Sex without commitment and intimacy is just Wam Pum… (Also called peag, seawan, sewan. cylindrical beads made from shells, pierced and strung, used by North American Indians as a medium of exchange, for ornaments, and for ceremonial and sometimes spiritual purposes, especially such beads when white but also including the more valuable black or dark purple varieties.)

The value placed on Wam Pum is in the eye and heart of the person giving/receiving/bartering with it.

Never sacrifice your heart, for Wam Pum.

Achieving orgasm isn’t love; it’s a sexual function. Imagine where the relationship would be if you couldn’t have sex anymore…

Imagine they weren’t as handsome, or as funny, or as whatever attracted you to them and attempt to love them anyway… that’s commitment, that’s one of the building blocks of a firm foundation in marriage.


Who Are You?

Do you truly know who you are? What is your purpose on earth…. in this life?

Do you have a plan? Could you communicate this plan if you had to?

Write the plan and make it clear

What dream have you allowed to grow so stagnant, that it’s just about dead? What steps could you take to revive it?

We have only once chance, to reach our potential… tomorrow isn’t promised, so we must live our BEST SELF today.

Ready? Set, GO!

…Learned To Be Content…

Philippians 4:Whatever you have learned and received and heard from me, and seen in me, put these things into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. 10 Now I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned,but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this out of need, for I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances.

To be honest, my actions of late haven’t been very gracious. My personal Facebook page is littered with my anger and frustration.
It does not escape me that verse 9 tells you to practice what you’ve learned, received and heard from me. Well, apologies, my actions may not be pleasing to the Father. I must work on that. Which, as I continue to read this portion of scripture is WHY I don’t have peace.

At the start of the year, I told myself that I was going to just be content ~ in ALL thing. It lasted about one day. I am brooding and moody. My sleep is disturbed. My appetite is off and my world, my sphere of influence is being affected by it.
Don’t misunderstand, I have reason to be those things and yet I know I cannot stay here, in this funk.

My head hurts. My gut is in knots. I want to pour my guts out to you here, in this forum, but I won’t. It will not help anything.
I am learning to be content whether I am abase or abound.
In all of this my hubby is my rock always, lifting me up, praying over me. I enjoy that he doesn’t pretend to understand, if he does not. I enjoy that he offers words of wisdom when he does. I am blessed in this area.

I must take this one, minute by minute. I am learning to be content. I will, in my baby steps, stumble fall, get up, take some steps, stumble fall, get up, walk a few feet, try to run, stumble, fall, get back up… you get the gist.

I have to cast my care, because most of what’s bothering me, I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT.
James 1:4 ~ Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

In all of this I must remember that the kids are watching me.

We Fall Down by Donnie McClurkin

Hail and Farewell!

I truly don’t know how to feel.
It’s odd. The only thing I can compare it to is seeing my grandfather cry back when John F. Kennedy was killed. I remember that my entire street and then my church cried. I didn’t get it then, because I was young, but I did get that something was very wrong.

Now, the newest (hic) leader of the free world, is without moral fiber of any kind. Sure, you say, you don’t know the man, true, HOWEVER ~ actions scream far louder than words and his words are pretty bad. I’ve NEVER cared for the man. I didn’t watch any of his shows. He was and still is a joke to me.

And what the heck is “soft sensual”?!?!?! Why will the inauguration be “soft sensual” and why is the word “coronation” even in the same sentence? I want him to go hunting with Mr. Cheney. And No, I’m NOT going to watch it.

I get that my constitution has built in, um, checks and balances. I get that “We the people’ were screwed out of the popular vote, though, I didn’t vote for her either. I get that Politics is dirty. I get that.

So, what do I say to my children? I’ve taught them to live their lives the EXACT opposite of DJT.
I’d often point to Mr. Obama as an example.
Character is EVERYTHING. Sure, people said bad things about him ~ he’s a black man in the US of A. Sure he was disrespected ~ He’s a black man in the US of A. But as his beautiful wife has said, “When they go low, you go high.”FLOTUS has taught me to always be who I am, NO MATTER WHAT. Her mother should be very proud!

My grandson voiced his dislike for DJT, to which I replied, “You don’t even know the man to like or dislike him.” To which he replied, “I saw him make fun of that handicapped man and that says it all.” check and mate sigh

I cannot embrace the idea of supporting him as president. It feels like denying Christ and all he stands for in my life.

The coming four years will be kind of difficult in that I don’t watch anything he’s in, so I can no longer listen to the State of the Union addresses. Honestly, I wouldn’t even watch his impeachment, should that ever happen. He’s a non-factor.
I haven’t any comforting words…. “Danger, Will Robinson, DANGER!

Stressed, thy name is Desserts…

We’ve all seen it, “stressed is desserts backwards” or my personal favorite, “Too blessed to be stressed!”

Well the truth is, when you’re experiencing stress, no amount of cute sayings will help to lessen it.

The core of my stress is children. They are 15, 13, 11, 10, 5, and 1. At this moment the screaming is about ice that has been spilled onto the floor. Yes, it would be simpler to just pick it up, but the 11 year old has chosen to scream him into submission, which NEVER works.

The 13 and 10 year olds are, just boys, in every sense, both vying to be the alpha. Both suffer from television hypnotic coma symptomatic disease.

I am trying to live healthily, so dessert is out of the question. I consider myself a child of God, so in my head I know I’m blessed….. it’s just that certain circumstances challenge my faith on the regular.

Oh and did I say, that while my 15 year old does not cause me the usual teen issues, she is, however, challenging. She, in her own mind, knows EVERYTHING. Yes, I know, I was her age once upon a time many, many, moons ago.sigh

So, I can’t have dessert and yes, I need to get back to the Clean Eating plan. This year has been tragically tragic for my family.

Locking myself in the bathroom, watching the finger spider appear under the door, amuses me and yes, it does take the edge off.

If you know someone who seems even a little bit stressed, offer them more than a hug (and definitely more than a cute platitude). Offer to do something that will help them, pay a bill, watch a child, heck hire a sitter and take your friend for coffee or tea (not Starbucks, that in itself is another kind of stress). And know that sometimes all we really need is sleep, 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!

The toddler giggles in the distance as I typed the last sentence, laugh out loud, chuckle.

Anywho, the next few weeks are stressful all on their own, so please be aware that the grumpy person may have a lot going on……. Thanks President Trump….. um… I just threw up a little….. sigh…….

Me encanta el pan


I’m using an amazing app called Duolingo to chip the rust off of what I know about the Spanish language. I must say that it is truly helping me to remember and learn new things. It is set up like a game and yes you gain points that can be used to purchase other areas of the language. I have just unlocked Idioms. I’m excited!

Idioms: a group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of the individual words (e.g., rain cats and dogs, see the light ).

It is my goal to learn one new thing each year, ON PURPOSE, after turning 50 years old. 2016, it’s to become proficient in the Spanish language. So much so, I can hold a (brief) conversation that consists of more than “Yo necessito un bano.” or  “Donde esta un bano”.

My new favorite phrase is, “Yo soy caballo y yo habla ingles” LOL. There is also a lot of weirdness going on there also: “El raton comes pajaro.” WHAT THE HECK KIND OF RAT EATS BIRDS?!?!?!?! There are “Caballos comiendo pan. Which I might add is far less disconcerting than picturing Mr. Raton having a poultry meal!

So, 2017 will see me learning to play the Dulcimer. I love the sound and it would be cool to also see my Nana buddy (grandson) play it. Much to my dismay, he plays a mean harmonica, has been for a couple of years, he 5 now.( I’ve always wanted to play it, but struggled with my inability to do so and being told to stop;) I suppose he does these things because no one has told him he can’t. He is, in his own words, “afraid of nothing”.

Which is far different than how I was raised. There were just some thing a little sorta black girl from central Alabama just cannot do. Oh, she can attempt it, but it just won’t work. SIGH My Nana babies will be all that they can be without the military. Know Jesus Know Peace

I will learn to play Spanish songs first. There’s one I heard for the first time today, that I’ll share with you, just because I think it’s pretty. It’s called ” Amor Eterno sung by Juan Gabriel

I will one day roll my “r” as if I was born speaking Spanish.

Adios, mi amigo!

Rose by any other name…..

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet.


Many years ago, I realized that the name of the post, must grab the attention. Then the first paragraph must hold the attention. It is then in the hands of the reader to kill or give life to what has been written.

So then why do I choose to write, BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO!

Rock/Hard Place

I am going to vote, because it’s my right and privilege. I just don’t know who to vote for, since I do not favor either of the “presumptive” candidates.
It was much easier in school, you know, the most popular person got the votes and nothing in my day to day school life changed. I am actually concerned about the America my children will grow up in. The atmosphere is electric with prejudice and hate.
No one is embarrassed any more about bad behavior.
I believe I’m raising my children to the best of my abilities, but they are NOT prepared for the world’s brand of stuff.
How does one actually raise a child that way? How do I prepare them for the ugly that life can be and still raise them to be good people? Is it possible? I want my daughters to be confident women who know that they are not a sum of their parts and my sons to know that a woman is far more than the sum of her parts. My sons will be strong, confident, godly men of valor.

My husband says he was drawn to me, because he saw the light of the lord in my face. He says he was drawn to the anointing. I must admit, I wasn’t used to that approach. I was used to be approached because of the sum of my parts.

I foresee a day when our driver’s license will have to designate our sex as GF/GM = genetic female/male; T = transgender; X = Asexual; etc. How do I prepare them for crazy?!?!?!
I’ve read that NAMBLA is seeking “rights” under the law. HOW FRIGHTENING IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!

I sometimes day dream about living on an Island in the middle of no where. A population of like minded people (invitation only), but different enough to be individuals. No crime, no hatred, just a community of people living their lives off the grid. We each own our own land, etc.

I know, it’s a pie in the sky dream. Life isn’t getting any better, but then the Bible says that it would get worse.

2 Timothy 3 (King James Version (KJV)

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

I will do my best each day to impart into my children the ability to make godly decisions. As a parent that’s all I can to, at least, until I find and purchase that island.

Rachael’s Song chapter 2

Antoinette “Toni-May” Marie LaVasseur didn’t much like winter. It was, putting it mildly, her idea of the worse time of the year. She wasn’t like her sister, Rachael, who seemed to be able to make the best of everything. She, liked her sister Rachael, which is why, she reasoned with herself, she had gotten out of her warm bed to go and pick her up from work. “If only she’d listened to me”, she said cheerily to the toddler sleepily watching the passerby’s. She glanced at her daughter’s reflection in the rear view mirror, “We knew that Steve was a snake, huh? Didn’t we?” She said in a half baby talk, half sing-song voice. “Auntie Rae-Rae should have walked away from that one, too!”
The baby gurgled, sighed and closed her eyes. Toni-May sighed. She’d been praying for her siblings since she found out that she could pray specific things for each of them. And she’d felt pretty successful in her prayers because they were all happily married, with the careers of their dreams, with the exception of Rachael. It did appear that Rachel would be forever making the same mistake over and over again. She had a way of pretending to listen to advice, but then going ahead with her own plan. In truth, she’d told Rachael not to allow Steve to drive her car – ever. Rachael had said that she understood and agreed that she’d just drive him where he’d had to go, but in the end, he’d convinced her that she was being silly and insecure. So she’d handed him the keys and he’d wrecked her car. Toni-May grimaced. She would continue to try and give her sister good advice, no matter what.

>>Rachael stood as close to the wall as she could. It shielded her from the wind and brought a pretense of warmth that escaped her. “I will not argue with my sister.” She told herself. “I will just sit and nod.” She smiled to herself. Her Dad had hated it when she did that. He’d stop talking and just stare back at her, then he’d hug her and kiss her on the forehead. She missed her dad. She truly believed that her love life would be much easier if her dad were still alive. He would have pointed out to her that Steve wasn’t the one, but then would she have listened to him? She frowned, probably not. She did have a way of ignoring the obvious. She chuckled, I must be growing up. No one could have said that to me and had me agree.

>”What’s so funny in that head of yours, pretty lady?” The voice came from behind her, but she recognized it so she didn’t turn to look at him. Wayne Brown. Wayne was the guy everybody in the office loved, but her. He was fun, witty and somewhat handsome. Rachael thought him to be the office clown.

“Shall I repeat myself?” he asked walking around to the front of her. “I heard you chuckling over here.” He stood smiling at her. He looked handsome even with his shoulders hunched up toward his ears. She noticed the twinkle in his eye that made all of the other women in the office want to be in his presence and yet she’d never seen him with any of them, nor had she heard any rumors.

“Well?” he said smiling at her. Rachael mustered up a smile. “Oh, just some private thoughts.” she said quietly. Why did it suddenly seem warmer where she stood? “I’m waiting on my sister. She’s picking me up.” Rachael wanted to kick herself.
Wayne stared at her, as if he was studying her face. “I would have taken you home, ya know. I still live one block over from you.” Wayne stepped closer to her and lowered his voice, “Why do you dislike me so much?” It was this habit he had of being blunt and honest that bothered her most. How would anyone answer a question like that?
Rachael didn’t like that she liked the nearness of him and took one step back. “I don’t dislike you. I’m just trying to stay out of relationships right now.” The honesty of the statement made her blush and looked down at the ground. “I just want friends right now.”
Wayne gently lifted her head with his fist. “It’s cold out here beautiful. Much too cold for you to be standing out here waiting for a ride. Can you call your sister and tell her that your friend Wayne is taking you home?” Rachael shook her head. “She should be here any moment.” She stepped around him to look out into the parking lot. She saw the little blue compact car idling by the loading dock. She waved cheerily. “There she is, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Wayne stared at her almost lovingly. He took her arm and headed toward the car with her. She felt her back tense and her heart begin to pound. “What is he doing?” She wondered silently. He approached the car and opened the door. “Until tomorrow pretty lady.” He said, pretending to tip his hat. He waved at Toni-May and stepped back from the car.
“WOW!, Toni-May said excitedly. “Who is that?” Rachael kept her eyes straight head, “No one, just drive.” She said flatly.

Wayne stood watching as the car drove out of sight. He knew he was undeniably drawn to the light he saw in Rachael, but he was also aware of her seeming dislike of his presence. He looked heavenward and wondered if he’d misheard God on this one. It’d been four long years since he’d seen Rachael standing in the employee lounge. She’d been friendly enough back then, but now she seemed more distant than she’d ever been.
It was one of those things that hung in his mind and tugged at his heart. Men are not supposed to be so in touch with their feelings. He thought to himself, “I am supposed to just move on to the next woman. and there are a bevy of fine beautiful women to choose from, but he only had eyes for Rachael.
He started his car and chuckled, “This must be why there are stalking laws.”